Ahem.

Apologies, dear readers, for my extended absence! Last week I returned safely from the wet, hot, mosquitoey, birdy wilderness of Estes Park, Colorado, accompanied by a camera full of bird photos, a stuffed woodpecker, a cheapo water bottle, an arm full of bug bites, and two new baseball caps. However, because I moved into a new house the morning afterwards and have been frantically decorating my new bedroom and also because I am lazy as hell, I have not bothered to post anything until now. But I'm back in black at the moment and for the foreseeable future until school starts in September.

Let's kick off my return with a five-part post party, beginning today with the bookish survey 55 Questions About Books: Part I!

1. Favorite childhood book?
I had a deep personal obsession with The Burgess Bird Book for Children. I stole it from my first-grade classroom and read it about fifty squillion times. And drew on it. And chewed it. I'm not kidding.

2. What are you reading right now?
The Code of the Woosters by P. G. Wodehouse on Kindle. It's hilarious and the prose is killer.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
None, because I don't have the energy to be driven down to the library and check out books.

4. Bad book habit?
Cheesy, funny, and preferably lesbian chick-lit. I tend to read E. Lockhart quite a bit when I'm feeling down. Which I have been a lot lately, but more on that in a later post.

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Technically Throne of Glass, overdue and lost somewhere in the piles of boxes littering my room. RIP Eagle Rock Library branch copy of the worst book I ever read, 2012-2014.

6. Do you have an e-reader?
Well, let me tell you: I do not technology. I have an ancient iPhone and a collector's-era MacBook that isn't even in production anymore and a first-edition Amazon Kindle, the third (fourth?) of its kind. I got sand inside the first one when I took it to the beach, bought a second one, broke the second one within the first week, got sent a free replacement and so far have managed not to break this one.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
Several at once, of course. I cannot limit my hyperactive brain to one book at a time.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
I've made an effort to read more new books in order to review them, although I never get around to writing the reviews anyway so I don't know why I bother... 

9. Least favorite book you read this year so far?
Oooh ooh ooh, a chance to rant at my innocent, abused readers! Throne of Glass, of course... we hates it, precious, yes we does. Also, Ash, which was basically the biggest, hugest disappointment in the history of ever. Divergent, obviously, which has taught me never to trust the majority of humanity when it comes to book recommendations.

10. Favorite book you've read this year?
 Fangirl, because it's an accurate depiction of me in college. Cinder, because it's a way, way better re-imagining of Cinderella than Ash. The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, because E. Lockhart rocks my world. The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland, because it's gorgeous and beautiful and utterly perfect in every possible way. Raising Steam, because Terry Pratchett always and forever. Neverwhere, because the same applies to Neil Gaiman....and I ought to stop even though I could go on indefinitely. Plus also, Kingbird Highway because bird bird bird BIRD BIRD bIRD BIRD B I R D bird bird bird.

11. What is your reading comfort zone?
I can't deal with anything too violent. Or anything that lacks a plot. Or anything that spends pages describing hAIR!!1!! and cLOTHES1!!! Or anything with really irritatingly unrealistically perfect heroines. Or anything in which the writing style is not up to my admittedly high standards. Did I just describe Throne of Glass? I did, didn't I? I hate it with a burning passion, in case you couldn't tell.

13. Can you read in the car?
Absolutely. Catch me twenty minutes in the car without a book.

14. Favorite place to read?
On my bed, 'cause I don't have any chairs or even a bookshelf. It's pathetic.

15. What is your policy on book lending?
If it's other people giving books to me, then said books belong to me forever. If I give books to other people, someone is impersonating me and the police should be notified.

16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
Yeah, all the time, because I'm too lazy to keep track of bookmarks.

17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
Would you like your ears stuffed down your throat and your leg sewn onto your face?

18. Not even with textbooks?
Not real books. Doesn't count.

19. What is your favorite language to read in?
Sindarin, Vulcan, Welsh... hell, I don't care.

20. What makes you love a book?
Fantastic writing, original plots, creative and non-archetypal characters... new stuff I've not seen before in a book.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
All of the above, plus serious humor, strong female characters, and a plethora of rad online fanart.

22. Favorite genre?
Magical realism takes the cake, followed by fairy-tale retellings, classic science fiction, fantasy satire, and contemporaries with diverse characters. Classic fantasy gets a shortbread or something. I'll likely try anything I get glowing recommendations for.

23. Genre you rarely read but wish you did?
Historical fiction, I suppose. I don't enjoy it. I find the history most of it discusses problematically irrelevant and/or romanticized. I wish I loved it because it'd be a great way to learn about history while reading more books. But I don't.

24. Favorite biography?
Uh, Kingbird Highway was pretty glorious and very birdy, which I liked, and if biographies of organizations count there's The Monuments Men. Now THAT is the kind of historical story I like. Chinese Cinderella is neat too, but pretty disturbing.

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
I... dunno. Maybe I picked one up in a bookstore. Or something. My friend and I tried to write a self-help book once. It was called 50 Shades of Yellow: Help Yourself, Help the Ducks. I seem to remember that.

26. Favorite cookbook?
Any cookbook that doesn't require crazy ingredients like nightingale's eggs and Norwegian bok choy, whatever the hell that is. I may have made it up.

27. Most inspirational book you've read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
Um. I have no idea, frankly. I guess... maybe my own quarter-finished book Hallelujah because it's taught me so much about proper writing methods. Lame, yes, I know.

A Camping Trip

I'd just like to inform whomsoever it may concern (that's you, dear reader!) that I will be off in Colorado for a week and shan't be posting, not that I have been posting much anyway.

I am hereby regretful of this fact and hope to post more in the future (look out for reviews of We Were Liars, Fangirl, and the Thursday Next series once I return from the wilderness!)