A WIP or Two

Oh, gosh, this is probably the most writing I've finished in a long time because school is being really nasty while we wrap up the year. Plus, it's my favorite WIP of the moment. So here, have some quotes from The Influence of Random Fluctuations in the Space-Time Continuum, featuring Kendall Lubkeman and Mandarin Renault-Torres.

Warning: Spoilers ahead. 

Mandarin sips her frappuccino, and disappointment tugs at Kallie. Mandarin Torres, wicked queen of Buttonwillow, California, drinking something so mundane as a doe-eyed and miniskirt-clad good-girl iced coffee?

"You're looking at me funny, 'Rene." Mandarin says it mildly. 

Kallie flinches, bumping the table with one elbow and causing it to shudder. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I was thinking." 

Mandarin reaches out lazily and runs a peach-smooth finger down the crease of Kallie's forehead with casual intimacy. "You'll get wrinkles," she notes, a crooked grin tilting the corners of her mouth. "Much easier not to think if you don't have to. 'Nothing matters, but knowing nothing matters,'" she trills, the rhythm intermittent and most of the notes off-key. The skilled flutist across the table can't help but shudder. 

"I'm not trying now," Mandarin says defensively. 

Kallie shakes her head hurriedly, a nervous involuntary jerk. "Of course not. I sit across the aisle from you in chorus, you know? I know how well you can sing." 

Mandarin gives a kind of one-shoulder shrug and averts her eyes.

--The Influence

"'Rene?" 

Kallie barely responds, her fingers tapping an intermittent, metallic beat. She has never been called 'Rene before, and it makes her afraid to hear her name in those sleek, imperial tones. As if those four contracted letters are undeserving of taking up the space between Mandarin's glossy lips. In her apple-green dress and limp curls, Kallie doesn't feel like 'Rene, who would be someone as arrogant, enviable and delicately Machiavellian as Mandarin herself. Someone with red boots and nails like penknives. Someone who could spray her personality over yours like graffiti dotted across the high walls behind the railroad tracks. 

Kallie doesn't own red boots. 

--The Influence

____________________

Updates on other WIPs:

Skylander? Pretty fabulous. I've established that Aradia does well as a Skylander, but Samkim in the Strix? Not so much. The main plotline will also involve a serious revolution and their two chosen guilds fighting opposite one another. 

Nobody of Night has diverged from a fantasy into a speculative-reality urban science fantasy, involving time travel, robots, parallel universes, sorcerers and monsters. Blackbird becomes deeper and deeper every day. I'm never sure what she'll do next. 

Hallelujah is still in plotting stages, though I've got the names and the basic plot down. To put it concisely, the universe is controlled by Father Chaos, Mother Universe and their children: Dream, War, Despair, Love, Delirium, Fate, and Death. None of these have immortal personifications; instead, they are hosted by a different human every generation. But this time, two Deaths are born, which throws everything into, well, chaos. 

Hopeless Regiment is now a story about familial bonds and unusual coincidences, aside from the blood-caste, ancient Roman-style sci-fi tale I began it as. I get to mess around with the army, delve into gang life, and then mix them all up in a surprisingly adorable, if violent, saga.

Niagara is going well. That's about all I can say for it. Well. The fact that I just revamped the entire plot is presenting some issues. Silver is far too huggable, as usual. Micah is more of a jerk than I wanted him to be, but perhaps that isn't a bad thing. Winslow is, to be honest, kind of unintelligent. I'm hoping her smarts will improve. 

Blackbird Over the Harvest Moon is tough because everything, every bit has to be genius -- that's how Teek and Magda talk. Nevertheless, it's moving along at a decent pace. 

Starship Peppermint is, as of now, a collection of disjointed scenes that not only resemble Firefly far too much but refuse to organize themselves into a collective story. I am hoping that they will eventually, or I shall force them to, and that will not turn out well and will result in much editing for me. 

Water's White, Girl of Green is purely delightful and a total joy to write, which I often don't find in my books. Petra is amusing, Tegan is confused, Lael is mysterious, Naiviv is vicious, and Valentine is a manipulative little witch. The complexities of the society and the unusual and surprising flora and fauna of the fairyland are fantastic.

Kairos. Beloved Kairos. What can I say? If I lived in Night Vale, this would be my autobiography. But I don't, so the next best thing is to dump dear Mime Vega into a bizarre and at times horrific American town and watch the fireworks.

Sioa still has very little plot, aside from me going "What rules? Norse myth reboots. Psychological thrillers. Tear-jerking ghost stories. Apocalypses. Revolutions. Shipwrecks. Quests. Crack-shot, computer-hacking, plane-flying heroines. A protagonist named after my pet bird," and shoving that-all in the oven to bake. Unfortunately, the timer still hasn't gone off. If any of you have decent ideas for a book involving a Japanese college student who can see ghosts, a former novice detective who's a returned ghost herself, nine modern valkyries who use Twitter, a Swedish reporter who's the ex-husband of one valkyrie and father of another, and Ragnarok, let me know. Seriously, please do.

Medusa is marvelous. How could a futuristic police procedural starring a hallucinatory, manipulative teenage assassin and her partner, a mega-genius librarian, archaeologist and soldier turned cop detective be anything less?

Finch Reviews Dragon Slippers by Jessica Day George

Believe it or not, I read eight new books over spring break and admit to not having reviewed any of them. But it wasn't my fault, right? I had no Internet on the Yucatan Peninsula, plus no laptop to do any writing with and it's downright impossible to write book reviews in a notebook.

Title: Dragon Slippers
Series: #1 in a trilogy (followed by Dragon Flight and Dragon Spear)
Publisher/Year: Bloomsbury, 2008
Genre: MG fantasy
How Finch Got It: Her mum bought it for her sister as a means of keeping her busy on a five-hour plane flight. Because Finch reads fast, she "borrowed" it after finishing all the books she'd bought for the same reason.

Synopsis  

When Creel's aunt sacrifices her to a dragon, Creel refuses to wait for a knight to rescue her. After bargaining for her escape and winning a pair of blue slippers from the dragon's hoard, Creel sets out to find her own fortune in the king's city. Along the route, she meets and befriends another dragon, who helps her find her way. But when she arrives in the city, strange things start to happen, and Creel realizes that her mysterious slippers are more than just a pair of shoes...

Epistolary Review  

Dear Jessica,

Thank you, for presenting me with something to bring a smile to my worn-out face on an exhausting day. Um, it was rather fabulous. I appreciate your fresh, creative, smart and funny take on the typical Disney-princess talking-animal story.

I adored your characters, Jessica! Creelisel Carlbrun, your naive and presumptuous protagonist, isn't going to make it onto my list of top ten heroines, but she was undeniably well-written. Well done! And what's more, her narration is appropriate to her age, position, and lifestyle. You're in, what, your thirties? But you pulled off the voice of a confused teenager in a medieval fantasy world. That's what Creel was, and she acted like one. She didn't use too-complex vocabulary or modern slang, and her perspectives on situations weren't unusually advanced.

Your villains were a further improvement. I growled, Jessica! I never growl at villains (because I'm more fond of them than I am of the protagonists)! Yet I was absolutely furious with Princess Amalia, your shallow little villainess, throughout most of the book. And that didn't even compare to Larkin's irritating holier-than-thou attitude. HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE TRAITOR! Jessica, I was very, very annoyed by the fact that her only consequence was life in prison. She ought to have died in a truly gruesome way. Shameful. At least Amalia got the flesh boiled off her bones. That redeemed you for Larkin's lack of a horrible death. Kind of.

Even your more minor characters were deliciously well-developed. I was surprised -- and impressed -- by the fact that Creel's first impressions of Larkin and Marta (an absolute sweetheart, by the way) shifted as the action moved onward. A protagonist's first impression will often, if not always, be correct, and this made a refreshing change. Good for you. Nor was Amalia the ditzy, grating type that she appeared -- no one can be an espionage agent and be stupid, yes? This defiance of two-dimensionality was delightful. You have such good insight into the makeup of human personalities, Jessica.

And your names! Can we just speak about those names for a minute? Where do you get these creations? Creelisel, Shardas, Feniul? Fantastic. And the quirky re-imagining of typical lore! Dragon hoards aren't just gold! No indeed. That would be silly.

Now, let's discuss the things you didn't have good insight into. Prince Luka the Love Interest was terribly adorable with his gallant manners and commoners-are-people-too attitude, but could you get any more two-dimensional? My goodness. Does he have any purpose aside from a) rescuing Creel, b) flirting with Creel, c) giving Creel presents, or d) trying and failing to sacrifice himself for Creel because she's too clever to let that happen? Did you feel you needed to simplify the romance for middle-grade audiences? No, Jessica. Go take a refresher course in Jeanne Birdsall or Eva Ibbotson.

The rampant plot faults were worrying. If the dragons had been so desperate to keep the slippers, they could have! They're house-sized fire-breathing lizards; they can do what they want! Also, Creel could've found time at some point to tell Luka about the dragons, instead of feeling as if she needed to keep them from him! There was no justification for that, which, as a kingdom-wide issue, is most certainly his business! And, Jessica, I am hung up on the whole slipper fiasco. Why did Creel immediately give up on the idea of pawning something to get to the King's Seat when she saw Theoradus's hoard? The first pair of shoes you describe are encrusted with emeralds. She should not have taken the dragonskin slippers. She should've taken the emerald heels and headed for the first pawnshop she saw! But at least you are quite capable of describing a giant cave full of shoes in a mildly diverting fashion.

Predictably, since you wrote this for middle-graders, your plot was relatively straightforward. Aim higher, grasshopper. With a few subplots and perhaps more complex scene structure, this could have been a fabulous YA or adult book reminiscent of Dragonriders of Pern. Your scenes were captivating and vivid, your characters endearing, your dialogue snappy, realistic and touching, and your action well-paced. And you didn't shy away from the dark side of things. Instead, you veered off onto the rare path of killing a protagonist -- or at the very least making your audience believe you did. Life gets tough and gritty and isn't as lighthearted as middle-grade authors would have us believe. Write about death all you like, Jessica!

Impressedly,
Finch

Verdict